Despite the stress, I am having a good day

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. I got my husband a new computer for our anniversary because he has needed one for around four or five years now, but has not gotten himself one. I gave it to him a month ago when it finally came. He was overjoyed with it! Thank goodness, it was a big hit. When it came to the day before yesterday, I told him I would definitely see him today (and I normally do not see him on Sundays). He asked, “Why? We’re not doing anything.” I really did not need to hear that. Not sure how to react, I took my leave to go back to work and went through what seemed like all the stages of grieving over the next day and a half. I was not even sure I was going to go and see him today. I went out to the field to help my mother pull irrigation pipe and my phone alerted me that I had a text. I checked my phone. “Happy anniversary!” with fireworks was the text, sent from my husband. So I replied and decided that I would go in to see him today after I got done helping my mom out at the field.

I got to our basement apartment around 1130 hrs and he was still in bed. I announced my presence and he got up, got dressed, and we went for a long drive and got lunch with the money my mom gave us for our anniversary. When we got back to our apartment, my husband, while looking up a YouTube video, said, “I was looking for a present for you, and I want you to watch this video.” I was not sure what the video would be on, so it was surprising to see a video of Orion telescopes pop up. My husband showed me the one he was trying to find for me—an Orion Mak-Cass 90mm. A beginner telescope that was portable, of all things! What a fantastic idea for an anniversary gift! He wanted me to watch the whole video on the beginner telescopes when I got a chance, and he showed me specifically the one that he was looking at for me. It is awesome! I found a reasonably priced bundle on a site and e-mailed it to him so that he could see all that it came with. I am so excited! I love astronomy, and always have, but have never had my own telescope to look at the stars and everything in the sky with. When I was little, my neighbors were both retired scientists, and Mr. Hanes would always show me his star charts and let me look at the night sky through his telescope. It was so enchanting! That is one way to blow a kid’s mind, for sure! I will never forget that, and I have told my husband that story countless times, thinking he was probably tired of hearing my stories about Mac and Larry Hanes. What a pleasant surprise. I cannot wait to get my telescope! What a thoughtful gift!

When I got back to my mom’s house, she gave me a haircut, which was a bonus, as we have been having a real heat wave here in Montana for the last month. I feel so good right now, and that is an odd feeling for me to have under so much stress. I am enjoying every minute of it! Today is the last day to tweak my final project, worth 35% of my entire grade in my graduate class, and my weekly paper, worth 30 points (nothing to scoff at, either). I am confident in my work, but always worry until the time runs out. Yes, you have figured me out . . . I am a perfectionist. These two projects, though, are not perfect. They are good—good enough. I had so much stress with an anniversary date for PTSD this past week and everything else going on that I decided that “good enough” was what I was going to shoot for. Perfectionists’ “good enough” is remarkably good, I hear. Better for it to be “good enough” and have learned to be a better writer than to get an “A” and have learned nothing.

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